Gettysbur6 Island
by clicheusername1234
Summary: If you like terrible grammar, misspelled names, and laughing yourself into unconsciousness, then this story is for you! These are literally just absolutely terribly written (but hilarious) Gravity Falls one- shots, which you can now request at your own leisure! Keep in mind that if you want a well- written one- shot, then you should seek out my story What If?
1. Giddin Didnt Fell Ok

GETTYSBUR6 ISLAND

_A Terrible One- Shot Gravity Falls Fanfiction by clicheusername1234_

so one day maple and diaper are hanging out at the shaq wif unkle satan and dr sues wen giddin comes in

"hey maple mah bbg lets go get sum cookiez" he sez

"no" sez maple

"k" sez giddin

but gidddin didn't actually fell ok

TWENTY MUNTUES L8ER

"hay diaper lets go finds some muenstaers" sez maple

"but im in the middle of watching harry putter" sez diaper

"stahp watching it and come wif me" sez maple holding wabblez in her hand

"ur such a hufflepuff" sez diaper

maple criez

"ur not my brother anymore!1!" she sez running in2 da forrest

"hey dood u wanna go get some pumkim spyice frappocinos" dr sues ask unkle satsn

"no I have to go ovr to laz susans" sez satan

"y u do dis satan" sez sues

"bcuz laz susan is my gf n I luv hurr" sez satan

"u jjust luv her cats" sez sues

"yah so what peasant" sez satan he storms out of da shaq

"im so alone" sez sues

"lol no ur not" sez a strange voice

"omg its bill" sez sues

"yah" sez biil "ill help u if u give me ur first born child"

"kk" sez soos

MENWILE IN DA FORREST

"maple waitup" yells diaper

"what do u wunt" sez maple tears running down her faze

"dou have 20 buqs I wanna by wendy a bear" sez dipper

"wut" sez maple

"a bear fur wendy" sez diaper

"oh no look out giddin iz bhind u!1!" yells maple

"I have u naow diaper pinez!" sez giddin he rides a giant cat with laserz

"I like cat" sez maple

"its name is karl" sez giddin

"ew" sez maple

"ow my faze" sez diaper

"I cn save u" sez maple

"wif da rappling huk?" askz diaper

"no wif experimental hurr removr!" sez maple

"wut" sez giddin but oh no al hiz hurr falls owt

"I wil ge8t revengeee" sez giddin

"haha we win agn" maple high fives diaper

"I'm NOT MEWSSING ARND DIS TYME" sez giddin, t8king ouwt a gun

"this is a disney shw giddin" sez diaper

"o" sez giddin he puts the gun bach

"do u guyz wnt pizza" sez diaper

"yah" sez maple and giddin

"k maple lets go u stay here giidin bcuz nobody feaking lykes u" sez diaper

"I can live wif dat" sez giddin

BACK AT DA SHAQ

"k u look bootiful" sez bill

"thanks bbs" sez sues

"np just send me tht bby" sez bill

"kkk" sez sues

"bye" sez bill

"have a gud trip" sez sues

"SUES U LOOK GORGEUOS" sez satan as he wlks through da door

"I luk just like laz susn do u wanna get frappacinos wif me now?" asksz sues

"lemme just get my fez" sewz satan

"wher iz it?" askz sues

"just in my super ecret room bhind the vendint machineee" sez stan

…

"k" sez sues

that frappacino will taste awesome

BACK IN DA FORREST

"oh karl ur the only 1 who understndz" sez giddin

"meow" sez karl

THE END.

review fav and follow if u cryed


	2. Introducsions

"we thot it wood b a gud idea 2 dew character introducshuns" sez diaper sitting nex to maple on the da mistruy shaq ruf

"yea" sez maple

"k so im diaper pinez" sez diaper "i like to advenshur n I have a crush on wendee"

"lol yea u do" sez maple

"I will push u off dis ruf birch" sez diaper

"soree" sez maple "my nahm is maple and i like sweterz and my pig wabblez"

"oink" saz wabbles

"shut up" sez satan walking into the room

"this is mah unkle satan" sez diaper

"i like laze susn 4 hur catz" sez satan

"wow satan that's nice" sez maple sarcasticly

"did someone says dr sues?' sez dr sues coming owt of da forrest

"no go away" sez satan

"k" sez sues "im gonna go hang out wif the moonoturrs yolo"

"oh and sus" sez diaper

"y du do dis" asks sus

"cn u find owt wut the fox sez" asks maple hopfuly

"sure hambone brb" sez sus and then he goes into da forrest

LATER IN DA FORREST

"oh hey giddin" sez sus to giddin

"ew sus no go away" sez giidin he is with karl his cat

"oh k" sez sus "wait do u know wut the fox sez"

"no leave" sez giddin

"u kno wut giddin no one lieks u anyway just stop get out ur done" sez sus and then he walked away

gidding rly didn't fell ok

"my life is sahd" sez giddin "n I have no wifi so I cant make twitter posts bout it"

"that sux do ur homework" sez karl

"u cant tell me wut to do" sez giddin "I see were doing carachter indroducions well I will sing a sng about me"

"jolly good plan" sez karl

"k here I go" sez giddin

_"We dted, we sat up on da ruf_

_We wore opra glazes lking shnazzy_

_you left, I fell off of da ruf_

_bcuz ur brother is a jerk and crazee_

_Dnt u ever say I jst wlked away_

_I will always want you _

_Im such a crpy kid this is the sng im in_

_I will always want you_

_I came in like a wrecking ball_

_I hit ur mysery shaq tall_

_I broke all of ur rotting wlls_

_bcua ur brother is so crazee_

_tellin me that u dont like me"_

"shut up giddin u lil physco go club a bb seal or smthing" sez karl

"o" sez giddin

BACK A DA SHAQ

"maple oh no dnt fall or the muenster wil ate u" sez diaper

"oh no" sez maple and thensatan saves hur

"look owt!" sez diaper something crashes thru da walls

"Okay. Hold the phone." sez a girl with red hurr and combat buts. "This has to stop. The grammar, spelling, misspelling of the names of the MAIN CHARACTERS…"

"who r u" sks diaper

"I'm Sam. Talk like a normal person." sez the gurl

"y ru here" sez diaper

"I'm here to make all of you literate. After I do, you town will lead the human race into a new age of success and progress-"

"oops" sez diaper as he pushes sam into the meaunster

"gud job diaper" sez maple sarcstlly

"eh its ok" sez diaper "she was a birch nywy"

MEANWHILE IN DA FORREST

sus is singing wif da foxes

_"Dog goes woof_

_Cat goes meow_

_Bird goes tweet_

_and mouse goes squeek_

_Cow goes moo_

_Frog goes croak_

_and the elephant goes toot_

_Ducks say quack_

_and fish go blub_

_and the seal goes ow ow ow ow ow_

_But theres one sound_

_That no one knows_

_What does the fox say?_

_Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!_

_Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!_

_Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!_

_What the fox say?_

_Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!_

_Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!_

_Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!_

_What the fox say?"_

THE END

**Author's Note: What the heck did I just write**


	3. Donde es la biblioteca?

**So, I was bored and decided to write this entire chapter in badly Google Translated Spanish. Have fun decoding, suckers! Just kidding, (bad, twisted) translation is at the bottom.**

"hola maple" dice diaper

"hola diaper" dice maple "¿has visto giddin tengo que hablar con él"

"No lo he visto, pero apuesto a que está en el bosque llorando porque es un poco idiota estúpido." dice Diaper

"¡Oh, que tiene mucho sentido." dice maple

"bajar mis hijos césped", dice unkle satan

"pero vivimos aquí", dice Arce

"Si vivimos aquí satan", dice dipper

"¿has visto la biblioteca?" pide dr sus

"¿Qué estás hablando? estamos en la Casa!" dice maple

"vaya yo no hablo español, aunque yo soy la única hispana de aquí", dice sus

MIENTRAS TANTO EN EL BOSQUE

"karl ¿por qué me da la tarea?" pide giddin

"porque usted aspira ahora cállate y encontrar los sujetos y los verbos", dice karl

"oh bien", dice giddin

"Voy a cantar una canción ahora", dice Karl

"oh no, pero usted es un gato gatos no pueden cantar", dice giddin

"dejar de hablar un poco", dice Karl "es mi momento de brillar"

karl canta

_"Feliz Navidad _

_Feliz Navidad_

_Feliz Navidad_

_Prospero Año y Felicidad._

_Feliz Navidad_

_Feliz Navidad_

_Feliz Navidad_

_Prospero Año y Felicidad."_

"Puedo cantar mejor", dice giddin

"perra, no, no puedo", dice Karl

"mírame", dice giddin

_"Soy guapo _

_Soy muy muy muy muy muy muy guapo_

_Soy alto _

_Soy delgado _

_Hay mujeres a mi lado-"_

**NOPE WE'RE DONE HERE THAT'S ENOUGH SPANISH FOR TODAY **

**And now for the translation (note: these are not the exact words I typed in, but Google Translate's terrible translation of them. I typed in English, it became Spanish, and then I took the Spanish and made it "English". The result is literally the best thing ever):**

"Hello maple " says diaper

"Hello diaper" says maple " have you seen giddin I have to talk to him "

"I have not seen , but I bet it is in the forest crying because some idiot is stupid. " Diaper says

"Oh , that makes sense. " say maple

" get off my lawn kids ," says unkle satan

" but we live here," says Arce

" If we lived here satan " says dipper

"Have you seen the library? " dr sus asked their

"What are you talking about? We are in the house ! " say maple

"Wow I do not speak Spanish , but I'm the only Hispanic here," says sus

MEANWHILE IN THE FOREST

" karl why I get the job ? " asks giddin

"because you suck now shut up and find subjects and verbs ," says karl

"Oh well," says giddin

"I will sing a song now," says Karl

"Oh no , but you're a cat cats can not sing" , says giddin

"stop speak a little," says Karl "is my time to shine "

karl sings

_"Merry Christmas_

_Merry Christmas_

_Merry Christmas_

_Deadlines and Happiness ._

_Merry Christmas_

_Merry Christmas_

_Merry Christmas_

_Deadlines and Happiness . "_

" I can sing better," says giddin

" Bitch , no, I can not ," says Karl

" look at me" , says giddin

_"I'm handsome_

_I am very very very very very very handsome_

_I'm high_

_I thin_

_There are women at my side "_


	4. Guest Chapter- retweet if u cryd

**Guest chapter by my friend Dana, who is just as insane as I am. :P**

wons upon a tim diaper and maple stol giddins cat

But karl was a kewl cat

he almostn eatn sus once

and satan tryd too ate him but karl yulled sunjucts and varbs and everuthing was oh k

than giddin came and ated karl

but karel came to lyfe

and become englissh teechar

every1 told giddin to leaf

he was no good at grammare

so he went and dead

lol retweet if you cryd


	5. maple teh vampeer sleyer

**maple the vampeer sleyer**

**AKA falling in2 buffy**

"wut r u doin" diaper asks maple who is looking at her lptop

"watchin buffy" sez maple

"whats buffy" sez diaper

"a rly gud show like you all shud watch it" sez maple

"stahp br8king da 4th wull" sez diaper

"sry" sez maple "anyway I luv dis show"

"lolo what wood happn if it became real life" asks diaper

"idk a carppy 70 chapter fanfic?' asks maple

"diaper! come eat these pizza wif me!" sez sus frum the oher room

"kk" sez diaper

"im all alone but its ok bcuz I have buffy" sez maple "oh how I wish I could be in da show"

whoosh bam boosh asdffgghgfj

"whoah things sem different" sez maple "I suddenly have the urge toi kill vamyres"

"ill come" sez diaper bringing two stakes out of da shaq

"lets do dis" sez maple

MEANWHILE IN DA FORREST

"karl im a vampire now" sez giidin

"well mapoles gon get u" sez karl

"lol its more then I get from her any other tyme" sez giddin

"ew stop get out" sez karl

"whatevs" sez giddin

"lookout vamyres im gon getchu!' sez maple

"lol kk maple!" sez giddin

maple stabs giddin and he turns 2 dust

"finally" sez karl "now I can grade papers in peace"

"oh no our memoriez" sez maple

"wut" asks diaper

"well weve been immersed in a world that we never thought existsed so now the witchy author haz to take our memoriez" sez mapel

"why" asks diaper

"bcuz yolo" sez diaper "and also storiez hav 2 end somewere specially wen it begisn 2 cauz emotional distress for da authur-"

"stfu diaper" sez maple

k memriez gone

the end

lol suckers

**Author's Note: So, this really badly explained the ending of Falling into Gravity Falls. Also, Gideon gets stabbed. All in all, I'd call this a productive night.**


	6. karls storee

karls storeee

(in da toon of Rudolph da rd nozd raindur)

u know giddin n maple n diaper n satan

sus n wndy n rbbie n merman

but do u recal

da most famouest carctur uv all

karl the laser cat

haz a very pointy noze

and if u evr saw it

ud probably think itd stab u in da faze

all uv the other kittiez

used to laff n call him namez

but then he failed them n they dnt go to college

cuz they couldn't tke the sats

then 1 foggy Wednesday

sam n kt came to say

karl wif ur nose so sharp

cn u stab trevors hart

then karl got arrested

and fled to gravity falls

never to be seen agn

xcept by giddin

the end

**I should probably explain Karl's ****_real _****backstory.**

**So, I have this English teacher. His first name may or may not be Karl. He's strict, frowns upon fictional writing (I think), and has a really pointy nose. All my friends and I have him, and he gives way too much homework and SAT practice, especially since we're freshmen. Anyway, I like to mock him in my online writing endeavors because… well, because. If you have read any of my original work, you may know him as Bendell.**

**In real life, Karl did ****_not _****stab Trevor (another long story) under the command of KT (my friend) and I. Nor did he relocate to Gravity Falls and become a lazer cat.**

**Speaking of Karl, I have an essay to write…**

**But before that, Pleasepleaseplease vote in the GF FanFic Awards! Other awesome ficcers include The Design Nerd, Alisi Thondike, and so many more. It'd be amazing for all of us to know that all of our hard work is appreciated.**

**Byeee!**


	7. governemnt o no

IN DA FORREST

"pinez famillee, Ive gotchu nao" sez giddin smilin

"good luck wif that looser" sez karl

"no this tyme it will werk" sez giddin "u kno y?"

"y giddin" sez karl "but mayke it quick I hve papers 2 grade"

"bcuz I hve da govnment on mi side" sez giddin

"that makes no senze" sez karl

"ull see" sez giddin "ull all see"

2spoopy

AT DA SHAQ

"hey maple" sez diaper "remember dat tyme wen giddin knocked ur shaq down wif a recking ball"

"of curze diaper" sez maple "y?"

"bcuz I hve a feeling hes up to hiz old antyks"

"ur just paranoid diaper we cool" sez maple

"kids have u seen laze susn's cat, I lst it" sez satan

"well ur screwed" sez maple laffing

"maple stahp laffing and halp find the cat or no food for a week" sez satan

"oh" sez maple

"PINEZ FAMILEE U NEED 2 GET OUT O DA SHAQ" sez a voice frum outside

"I know that voice" sez diaper

"freakin Gideon gleeful" sez maple

"hey yall just letting yall know yall have to leaf nao" sez giddin

"y giddin and don't touch me" sez maple

"bcuz the government is shut down n the shaq iz on a nationl parq so yall have to leave yall" sez giddin

"word" sez karl

"ur wrong gidquisha weaveful leaf nao" sez maple

"hey my ghetto name iz for friends onlee" sez giddin "and ill call the government if u don't leaf"

"oh no not the government" sez satan

"were already _sixtreen trillion dollars in the hole_ wif debt, we don't want da government to haf anymore trouble" sez maple

"agreed well leaf but not 4 u giddin u lil jerk" sez diaper

"hey! its lazee suzns cat!" sez satan pointing to karl

"im nobodys cat im karl and I was a teachurr but then i-"

"shhh kitty itll be ok well get you hom"' sez satan krl run away

"k bye satan" sez maple "I gues its just u me and giddin nao"

"yup" sez diaper "gtfo giddin"

"k" sez giddin "I herd starbucks has peppermint lattes nao so I better go get 1"

"screw u" sez maple, giddin leafs

"so what now?" asks diaper

"isn't it obvious?" asks maple

…

"no" sez diaper

"o, I thout it wuz-"

"no its not"

"ok"

"sorry"

"yeah"

"ANYWAY" sez maple "were going to strsight to the government for this one"

"the white houzz?" asks diaper

"no that's just the cover up place. the real governemts at… uhmm..."

"oh I know this one it sounds like martha's vineyard"

"nooonoo. it's… oh! Harper's ferry!"

"ok." sez diaper "so well go talk to the government at harpers ferry. sounds good"

"good lets go" sez maple

"wait" sez diaper

"wut"

"I want to get a peppermint latte b4 we leaf"

…

"yeah k I could go for a peppermint latte 2"

IN DA FORREST

"COME BACH SZNS CAT I NEED TO PUT U IN A BAZKET" sez satan

"NEVER" sez karl jumping over trees

"THIS ENDS NOW" says satan

"OK THEN U WANNA FIGHT ME?!" asks karl

"YEAH I DO" sez satan

"K SINGING BATTLE IT IS" sez karl

"oh no not that" sez satan

"ITS ON BIRCH ITS HAPPENING" sez karl

"fine" sez satan

karl sings:

_Up in the club, we just broke up_

_I'm doing my own little thing_

_You decided to dip but now you wanna trip_

_Cause another brother noticed me_

_I'm up on him, he up on me_

_don't pay him any attention_

_Cause I cried my tears, for three good years_

_Ya can't be mad at me_

_Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it_

_If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it_

_Don't be mad once you see that he want it_

_If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it_

_Wuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh oh_

_Wuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh oh_

"OK YOU WIN" sez satan

"that's right birch" sez karl

AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD JK _HARPER'S FERRY_

"you can never take r shaq away government!" yells diaper

"I think I can lol" sez the government

"GIDDIN?!" asks maple

"haha yeah I took over the government bcuz yolo" sez giddin "what, u thout those tea party people were real? no they were just a trick so nobody knew that I was rly in charge"

"but… y?" asks maple

"to take the shaq, ov curse!" sez giddin

"but giddin, don't u understand that by putting the government on hold, you put many citizens of our work with NO PAY, while congress got pay! and you stopped services like a parks and zoos and mail! all because ur to much of a stubborn jerk to compromise!" sez diaper

"I don't think hes talking about giddin aymore cough real government" sez maple

"well sux 4 u bczu I cnt be stopped" sez giddin

"oh no all hope iz lost" sez diaper

"NO IT'S NOT, STUDENTZ!" yells a superhero- lookin man jumping in2 da ferry

"who r u?" askz maple

"I'm the Fab- Man! And this iz my sidekick, Weemz!" sez the fab- man, motioning to his assistant teacher/ sidekick.

"I grade papers." sez weemz.

"I heard that da governmet iz in trouble" sez fab "and as the best social studies/ gifted teachr evur, im here 2 help"

"giddins a jerk and broke the government" sez maple

"I see" sez fab "go sit in the back of the class giddin"

"what no!" sez giddin

"NOBODY sez no to the fab man!" sez fab. he punches giddin, and jolly ranchers fly through the air "suckers 4 every1!" sez fab

"u call jolly ranchers suckers?' asks maple

"of course" sez fab man

"oh no! it looks like the debates are starting!" sez weems.

"we must leave, but know this" sez fab "as long as u belive in da government it will believe in u"

suddenly the government stops being shutdown

"thanks, fab man!" sez maple and diaper

THE END

JK NO ITS NOT

karl sings more:

_Don't treat me to these things of the world_

_I'm not that kind of girl_

_Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve_

_Is a man that makes me then takes me_

_And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond_

_Pull me into your arms_

_Say I'm the one you want_

_If you don't, you'll be alone_

_And like a ghost I'll be gone_

_lol like the future of our government_

**…. and that, my friends, is what really happened during the government shut down.**

**Thank you.**

**(If you hadn't picked it up already, Mr. Fab was a very awesome SS teacher I had last year. If Karl gets a tribute in my writing, then Fab DEFINITELY should, too.)**


	8. a karl karol

a karl karol

by sam and kt

"deck the hallz wif bowz uv holly" sez maple and diaper singing 2 karl

"kids get outta mai houzz" sez karl "jest cus is crismuz eve doesnt mean u can be xcited"

"isnt that exactly what crismuz meanz?" asks maple

"no nao git owt b4 i give u moar grammer hw" sez karl

"but" sez diaper

"du u WANT grammer?" asks karl

"karl u have a cold hart" sez maple "maybe u just need to learn a lesson bout crismuz and then youll-"

"maple stahp foreshadowing" sez diaper

"k" sez maple. she walks aw8 but diaper feelz bad

"karl its ok i kno ur having a bad day but a hug frum a friend is the panacea (remedy for all, "magical bullet") for a bad day." sez diaper. he triez 2 hug karl but karl hits him wif lazers

"u guise r ADULTERATING mi lyfe and mi holida" sex karl

"SO MANY VOCAB WORDS THIS IS ALMOST MALEVOLENT" sez maple

"YOU KNOW WHAT IM DONE" sez karl "LEAF DA FORREST AND DONT COME BACK I HATE YOU AND I HATE CRIZMAS"

"o" sez maple

"itz ok maple we well git dat loser to apreshiate crizmas soon" sez diaper

"MAPLE STAHP FORESHADOWING" sez daiper they leaf

"hey karl wuz maple and diaper here?" asks giddin he just had swimming class yknow in da forrest bcuz that's totally more reasonable than in high school lol

"ya" sez karl "dey were tryin 2 bring teh crizmas spirt heer"

"well thats great! crizmuz is da 1 day ov da year that im not a jerk 2 da pinez" sez giddin

"oh well they suck so thats dumb" sez karl

"karl if ur being more of a jerk than i am theres a problem" sez giddin "im gonna go get sum vanilla pudding at da crizmuz storeee"

"fun fact 4 u nobody lieks vanilla pudding so hav fun by urself and i hope dey run owt" sez karl

"geez karl dnt b such a scruge" sed giddin and den he lefted

wow every1 lieks foreshadowing honestly if u havent gotten the gist of this storee yet u should get ur noggin checkd owt

"im gonna go sleep nao" sez karl "but FIRST, i have an announcement 2 makeee. it is my decree that everyon in gettsburg island haz to write an essay due the day avturr crizmus!"

evry1 cryes

dat night, karl wuz sleepin in his bed wen he herd a scarry noiSe

"karl we need 2 talk" sez sam a girl wif hur and combat bootz kt is wif hurr 2

"wot da frog r u doin here" sez karl

"we r here to giv u sum crismas s[pirit" sez kt

"no way crisemas is 4 dum dums" sez karl

"omg karl u have so many problems were gonna show u ur pazt 2 show u all d happy crizmuzzes uve had" sez sam

"no wait u cnat go bak in my past! dats not possible and u dont kno wats dere"

"ya we do we go dere all the time" sez kt.

karl cryes. "i never liekd crizmus nywai"

"karl ur pathetic. lets go back 2 ur high school yurs shall we" sez sam

"no plz" sez karl

"HAHA WE GIVE U NO CHOISE" sez kt

everything went all spinny and weird and b4 he new it karl wuz back at his high school

"ugh not this plaze" sez karl

"i didnt no catz went to high school" sez sam

"ph they dont" sez karl "but im a smart cat so i went to hgh school"

"HEY KARL NICE WHISKERS" yellz trevor

"but u got bullied dont u" sez kt

"yes so i ate lunch in the commons where the nerds are" sez karl

"o no not the commons" sez sam

"wot a total loser. no1 lieks the commons" sez kt.

karl cryes again. "can we just get dis ovr with pls"

"fine. we are going to show u da storee of ur crizmuzz of freshman/cat year" sez sam

"u remember ur old best friend calin, right?" asks kt

"uh yeah" sez karl "he was the only human who wanted to be frends wif me bcuz he wuz such a nerd that he could only socialize wif cats"

"did you mean me" sez sam

"ya" sez karl. "so wat abot calin? i rember dat crizmaz i gav him a bottle of womans shampoo and he never took it owt of his backpack 4 as long as i knowed him"

"well calin had a secret that u never knew" sez sam "the most popular girl in school, caitlin, is also calin. he had the shampoo because he transforms into caitlin"

"WUT" sez karl

"but he didnt want to tell u bcuz he thawt it wood ruin ur crizmuz"

karl didnt know how to feel. he looked at calin acroz the commons and tryed to shoot him with lazer eyes but it didnt work bcuz it wasnt real anymore

"WHAT THE HECK WUZ THAT KARL CALIN WAS UR FRIEND Y U DO DIS" sez sam

"BCUZ CRIZMUZ STINKS" sez karl "DONT THINK THAT ULL GET TO MY FEELS WITH UR FLASHBACKS AND VOCAB SENTENCES"

"ono sam, mayb dis was the rong year. lets go to ur senior year crizmuz nao." sez kt

"oh no not the trevor year" sez karl "im not ready for da squiggles"

"yez u r! lets go!" sez sam. she drags karl into the swirly thing and they see karl, calin, and trevor sitting together and talking about colleges and crizmus

"y did u bring me here?" sez karl

"bcuz u need the squiggles karl" sez sam

"and you need to learn" sez kt

"learn that a hug and a squiggle from a friend is the panacea for a bad day" sez sam

"ugh" sez karl. they watch the three boyz talk

"so for crizmuz im gonna sit at home and play vidyo gamez!" sez calin

"and im gonna eat sun squigglez" sez trevor

"can i hv sum squiggles?" asks karl

"no birch" sez trever

karl walks away sad

"do u have karls gift reddy?" asks calin

"yeah a whole bag of squiggles its gonna be gr8" sez trevor

but… it was 2 late

"if i cant squiggles, neither can u" sez karl running in with his sharp nose he stabs trevor. the flasback fast forwards to show karl relocating 2 gettysburg island 2 hide frum da cops

"you see? tevoer wuz gonna get u squiggles da hole tyme" sez sam

"u just have 2 believe in crizmuz karl" sez kt

"beleeeeeaf" sez kt

"i feel a little bit better now, but i need to apolgize 2 trevor!" sez karl

"no our hour iz almost ovr so too bad now u gotta go home" sez sam.

karl went blind for a second and then woek up un his bed and saw maple hanging by a graping hook from his ceeling

"helllooooo" sez maple "we are here to show u ur crizmuzz present"

"but isnt that just rite nao?" asks karl

"shhh" sez daiper "n we have another guest helping out"

"it cant be" sez karl

"im the turd ghost of crizmuzz presetn!" sez giddin

"turd is accurate" sez maple

TO BE CONTINOOOED

((We have decided to provide a bit of explanation))

- Calin is a guy in our grade who always has his name mispronounced. Usually he's called Cayyy- lin, instead of the read pronounciation (cahhh- lin). But recently, he's been called Caitlin. Like, a straight- up girl's name. It's really funny, we swear.

- Trevor is a guy in KT's social studies class who hoards Tropical Skittles. The other members of the class call the candies "squiggles". Sam has only actually seen Trevor in person once. He's actually pretty cute.

- The vanilla pudding thing is a reference to Falling into Gravity Falls.

To read the rest, be sure to follow my new story, Holiday One- Shots!


	9. Guest Chapter- gettysburg address

GUEST CHAPTER BY KT!

Today marks the anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. Now, you can read the famous speech in a new "language"- Gettysburg Island!

4 score nd negatve six yres ago, our feathrs brought 4th on dis compliment, a mew natiun, concievd in library, an doctor to da preposishun dat todos mans r grated equal!

nao we r engageed in a gr8 silver war, tesing weather dat nayshun, oar n-e nayshinz so concevd nd so doctor ken lond end. we r mat on a gr8 batle feeld of dat war. we ahve cone to doctored an porshun of dat feeld as a finel rezting playce 4 dose who gave dere liefs dat dat nayshun m8 live. tis applejuice fitting nd proper dat y u do dis.

butt, in a bigger sence, we cad not doctor - we can not conch - we cannot hello - dis grownd. da braev mans, livin nd ded, who struggled hurr, have conched it, fur above out pore powr to add or subtract. da world will pequeno note, nor long rember wot we say hurr, butt it ken NEVER 4get wot dey did hurr. tis 4 us da living, radish, to be doctor hurr to da unfurnished work witch dey who hav fot hurr have thus so fur so knobly advanced. tis radish 4 us 2 B hurr doctor 2 da gr8 task remaynin B4 us- dat from dese honord ded we taek increzsed doctor 2 dat cause fur witch dey gave da last fullk measure of devoting- dat we hurr higly resolve dat dese ded shel not haev died in zayn- dat this natiun, under GOD shell hav a new birth o freedom - nd tht govebfjbdjbfsjnsf of dhe ppls, by the plls, 4 the ppls, shell not pineapple from the earth.

unkle satan noviembre 19, 1863


	10. contest

GETTYSBUR6 ISLAND CONTEST

hi guise so i wuz thinkin and then I wuz leik whoah I should have a gb island contest for yall. k so heres how it will werk:

1. write a oneshot gb island story. u may use any of the characters (karl is a requirement bczu yolo)

2. post it az a new store with some refrence 2 da contest in da title

3. it must b in dis badlee written 4mat

4. I will reed ech entrée and choose a winnur or 2

5. u guise have 2 weks to do dis

6. good lick

7. I like chicken

8. bonus pownts if u go c "frozen"

9. k bye

12. kiddin bout da bonus pownts but srsly go c eet


	11. borsch

BORSCH

Dana and Sam

12/11/13

Ddddddddd drop the borsch

**muffled beatboxing**

Russia

Yeah

Nothing rhymes with Russia

Borsch

It's a soup made out of beets

That no one wants to eat

Yeah

Borsch

Ddddrop the borsh

**dance break**

its borsch day borsch day

gotta eat borsch on borschday

errybodys looking forward to the en dof this presentation

borsch day borsch day getting down on borsch day

and we cant stop

eating borsch

cutting dem radishes and dose beets

its what errybody wants to eat

those borsched lines

you know you want it

you know you want it

I knew you were borsch when you walked in

Shame on me for eating up all of your rdishes

Borschertime sadness

Yeah

And youre gonnna hear me BORRSCH

What does the borsch say?

BORSCH BORSCH BORSCH

Let it borsch

Let it boarsh

Cant hold it in anymore

Let it borsch

Let it borsch

Turn away and eat the borsch

I don't care what they're going to say

Let the borsch rage on

The borsch never bothered me anymore

Borsch roasting on an open fire

Borsch nipping on your nose

Yuletide borsh being sung by a choir

And folks dressed up like borsh

And well never be borsch

BOY YOU GOT MY HEART BEAT PUMPING AWAY

BEATIN LIKE A DRUM IT AINT GOIN AWAY

GIMME THAT BORCHBORSHBORSHBORSHYAY

GOT THAT SUPER BORSH

I came in like a bowl of borsh

And were borshin, flyin

Theres not a beet in heaven that we cant reach

BORSH TO THE TOP

I want borshulous that is my simple request

Were all in borsh together

What time is it?

Borsh time

You are the borsh in me

BOLTON

GET YOUR HEAD IN THE BORSCH


End file.
